


Falling into Something Real

by hollowpointsmile



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-09
Updated: 2012-06-09
Packaged: 2017-11-07 08:39:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/429057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollowpointsmile/pseuds/hollowpointsmile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What the hell?!" the stranger said between breaths. When Frank didn't answer, the guy calmed himself down and brushed the hair out of his face. "What were you thinking?" His voice was laced with concern. Frank shrugged his shoulders, not knowing how to respond. Why did this guy care so much? Why didn't he just let him jump off the bridge?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling into Something Real

The blade stung more than Frank had expected. He braced himself as he dug the razor into the soft skin of his wrist a second time, this time pressing harder than before. A line of blood surfaced from beneath his open skin, and he intently watched it drip off of his arm and into the bathroom sink. The blood swirled around a bit until it disappeared down into the drain. 

Frank enjoyed watching the blood and feeling it pour from his cuts. It was a new experience for him, and he quite liked it. Although, he didn't plan on doing this ever again. Ever. 

That's because he planned to kill himself. It was an easy decision for him to make. His life was fucked up before the events that happened earlier today occurred. He was well aware of that. But what had happened at school that day had pushed him to conclude that his life was no longer worth living. It was like he was standing atop a skyscraper, and the nasty remarks from his classmates were shoving him closer and closer to the edge of the building. Finally, he gave in and, in the moment that he looked up at himself in the bathroom mirror, he was sure that he was falling. Falling from his sanity and into the depths of the thoughts he never really bothered to listen to until that moment. 

Frank was surprisingly calm on the outside. His movements were slow and steady as he continued to fill the sink with his blood. On the inside, it was a whole other story. Memories flashed in his mind, replaying every moment that he had been made fun of or gotten beat up. The bad memories. Those were always the ones that stuck with him. Normally he would shrug them off, but now, he was finally letting them surface in his mind.

The pushing. The shoving. The name calling. It all stuck with him throughout his years at high school, but that very day had been especially traumatizing for him. 

You see, Frank had a secret that he had never planned on telling anyone, ever. For fear that all his troubles with relentless bullies would only worsen. He was gay, and he hated to admit it. Girls, they were alright, but Frank happened to take a liking to his best friend Adam. Adam was no girl, and that's where Frank's little problems turned into big ones. The kind that gnaw at your mind day and night. 

After two years of crushing over his best friend, he mustered up all his courage and spilt his secret in confidence to Adam. That had happened only a few hours ago back at school, and as you can guess, it didn't go so smoothly. 

Adam, as it turns out, was quite homophobic which resulted in the entire school finding out about Frank's sexuality. All day he was taunted and teased until he finally made it back home, but not without taking with him the mental scars that he had obtained along the way. 

Frank was done with life. Period. There was no convincing him otherwise. He was a wreck, and he was ready to end it all. 

He stared at his reflection in the mirror not recognizing himself. On the outside, he looked the same as any other day, but on the inside, he was an entirely different person with a whole new mindset. 

Abruptly, he slammed the razor blade onto the marble counter top, and then twisted the faucet on to wash the blood from his arm.

Blood loss wasn't the way he wanted to die. No. He wanted to go out with something a little more dramatic. Something that matched the way he was feeling in that moment which happened to be the sensation of falling.

Falling. Yes. That was perfect. He knew of just the place to go; the bridge that passed over the lake only a minutes walk from his house. A short walk through a light wooded area spits you right out onto the bridge. 

Frank pulled on a hoodie over his head, and took one last glance in the mirror at himself. His black hair framed his face, creating an oval shape, and his lip and nose ring were there to top off his 'i fucking hate the world' look. 

He walked out the front door, ignoring his parent's curfew of being home by twelve. It was way past that hour; he could tell by the way that the dark sky seemed to hang low over his head. The hot, sticky air of Jersey wrapped around his skin as he trudged through the little thicket of woods before he would arrive at the bridge. 

The sound of crunching leaves brought Frank to a halt. He spun around to the direction of the sound but saw nothing. "Probably just a bird or something." He thought to reassure himself.

The walk to the edge of the bridge didn't last long. So, there he stood, in front of the railing that looked down into the rushing river below him. The bridge wasn't too high off the ground, but if he didn't die from the fall, at least the jagged rocks in the river bed would finish him off. 

No cars were driving by, being that it was late a night. The only sound was the water running over the rocks that would momentarily take his troubled life away from him.

No more dealing with bullies. No more dealing with parents. No more dealing with anything. 

The thought scared him, and knocked him out of him calm state. Frank's hands began to tremble as he held tightly to the railing of the bridge. His heart was about to beat out of his chest that was now soaked in sweat; partly from the humidity but mainly from his new found nervousness. 

It seems that the feelings inside of his mind where at last showing themselves on the outside. For a moment he thought about just going home and forgetting about all of this. It was a stupid idea anyway. He spent a split second telling himself that, but then quickly shook his head to make the rational thoughts go away.

No. He was going to do it. It was now or never. Frank slung one leg over the railing and his other followed after. Then he stood there with his back pressed against the ledge. He took in a long, deep breath.

Then he let his feet out from under him and he was falling.

Or at least that's what he thought. But no. His feet where now dangling over the river and something was gripping tightly onto his hoodie. Instincts to live took over, and he flailed around trying to grip his hand on the ledge.

What was holding him up? Did his jacket get caught on something? That's when he felt the familiar touch of a hand. Fingers gripped around his arm and dragged him back over to the other side of the railing. Who ever was pulling him to safety struggled a bit, but Frank soon found himself face to face with the stranger who had saved his life. Although he hadn't exactly wanted to be saved.

He tried to catch his breath and slow his heart rate down as he examined the stranger.

The guy was tall, and he was wearing the uniform from Frank's school which didn't comfort Frank to know that now this event would just be another story to get passed around the school. He recognized the guy from seeing him in the hallway a few times, but other than that, he knew nothing about him other that what he could see in front of him.

Through the darkness he could see that the stranger, too, was trying to catch his breath. He had long-ish black hair that was messy and looked like it needed to be washed. A glimmer of light reflected from the stranger's eyes and Frank could just make out a pair of hazel eyes staring back a him.

"What the hell?!" the stranger said between breaths. When Frank didn't answer, the guy calmed himself down and brushed the hair out of his face. "What were you thinking?" His voice was laced with concern. Frank shrugged his shoulders, not knowing how to respond. Why did this guy care so much? Why didn't he just let him jump off the bridge?

"Who are you?" Frank asked, coming off a little more rude than he had meant to.

"I'm Gerard." The stranger stated. "And you're Frank."

"How do you know that?" questioned Frank. 

"Well, I heard about... y'know... what happened to you at school today..." He sounded sympathetic. Frank darted his eyes about nervously. Who was this guy? Was he just there to save Frank so that he could make fun of him a bit more? Maybe spit in his face? Beat him up? It wouldn't surprise him if Gerard did all three. It's what anyone else from his school would've done. Thankfully, Gerard was different; Frank just hadn't realized it yet. 

Just then Frank felt something drip out of the sleeve of his jacket and down into the palm of his hand. He raised his arm up to investigate what it was when he saw the blood still draining itself from his cuts. Gerard noticed and stepped closer to him. 

"Did you do that to yourself?" He asked sincerely. Frank mumbled something and pulled his sleeve down to hide the cuts from Gerard. "Why did you try to jump?" Gerard sighed.

"You said that you heard about what happened today. That should explain it well enough for you." He stated looking down at his feet. They were no longer dangling over a bridge and were on solid ground which made him feel oddly better. 

"People at school are stupid. Don't ever listen to them." Gerard awkwardly wrapped his arms around Franks shoulders and gave him a hug. For a moment Frank just stood there because he wasn't normally affectionate, especially with a stranger, but he brought his arms up to Gerard's back. Frank could feel the tears getting ready to pour from his eyes, releasing all of his bottled up emotions.

A lone car drove by which made Frank instinctively pull away. Gerard tilted his head when he saw Frank's watery eyes, and then he spoke up in a caring voice. "Look. I know what you're going through. I'm sorry. But killing yourself doesn't solve the problems. Think about the people who care about you."

"No one cares about me." Frank scoffed. Gerard frowned and looked at the ground. 

"Well I do. No one should ever feel like they need to take their own life." Frank thought about Gerard's words and stuck his hands into his pockets while they stood their in silence. "You should come to my house and wash off those cuts."

"Why were you out in the woods anyway?" pressed Frank, ignoring his offer to get his cuts cleaned up. Gerard's lips twitched and he turned his head over to the sketchbook that was laying on the ground a few feet away.

"I go into the woods to draw sometimes." Gerard bent down to pick up his sketchbook and held it in his arms. "You really should wash off those cuts."

"Fine." Frank gave in while running his hand through his hair; a drop of blood dripped out of his sleeve again, but Gerard didn't notice.

Gerard seemed satisfied and smiled, showing his teeth in the darkness. "My house is that way just a block over." He pointed across the other side of the bridge.

They walked in awkward silence the whole way there. The two boys made it to Gerard's front door, when the automatic porch light switched on from their movement. Gerard fished around in his pockets, looking for his keys while Frank finally got a chance to study the face of the stranger who saved him. 

The porch light created a dark shadow to cover half of Gerard's face, but he had soft features. The tip of his nose came to a little point, and his lips were pursed as he concentrated on whatever was in his pockets. Frank couldn't stop staring at his face. It was quite flawless which intrigued him, but he shot his head in the other direction when Gerard looked down to meet his gaze. 

Gerard twisted the key into the door and quietly opened the door. The house was completely black, and Gerard didn't bother to turn on a single light as he grabbed Frank's hand in his and carefully made their way into the bathroom. 

Once the door was shut behind them, Gerard flipped on the bathroom light and Frank's eyes slowly adjusted to the light. The bathroom was much like his back at home. Gerard twisted the sink faucet and grabbed a wash cloth. He ran the water over it and motioned for Frank to step closer to him. Reluctantly, Frank rolled up his sleeve and stuck his arm out.

Gerard's eyes grew big at the sight of his mutilated arm. He let out a little gasp then gentley pressed the cloth onto the cuts. Frank relaxes at the touch and lets out a long breath.

"You shouldn't do this to yourself." Gerard's voice echoed through the silent bathroom.

"I know." Frank said in a small voice. "Why'd you pull me off the bridge?"

Gerard frowned and looked at his wrist that was now clean of blood. "Well why wouldn't I?"

"Because I'm gay... and apparently that means everyone at the school gets to hate me." answered Frank while looking at Gerard's face to try and read what he was thinking. 

"Then I guess we have something in common." Gerard stated, avoiding his eye contact. Frank bit his lip as thoughts bounced around in his head. So Gerard was gay? Is that what he had meant? Frank found himself hoping that he was. There was something about Gerard that made him want to smile, which was weird considering that only a few minutes ago he was attempting to kill himself. 

Gerard was somewhat of a streetlight which illuminated the dark road that Frank's mind had been traveling on all day. 

"Thank you... For saving me." Frank looked to Gerard who finally looked up to meet his eyes. 

"You're welcome." He nodded his head while the edge of his lips curled up into a little smile. Their faces were dangerously close. Frank could feel Gerard's breath escape from his nose, and Gerard looked back down nervously. 

"Gerard?" Asked Frank.

"Yeah?"

Frank leaned in even closer until the tip of Gerard's nose was almost touching Frank's. Gerard's gaze switched from Frank's eyes then down to his lips, then back up again. Frank swallowed hard and went for it. He liked Gerard. Although he didn't know very much about him, he wasn't like everyone else.

Their lips brushed one another's, and Gerard brought his hand up to hold the back of Frank's neck. Gerard's lips were soft and moist which made Frank want to never let go of him, but the kiss didn't last as long a Frank would've dreamed. 

They both smiled as they pulled away, but Gerard kept his hand holding Frank's head. 

"Don't ever try to kill yourself again. Please. You may not realize it, but there are people out there that care about you." Gerard mumbled with a shaky voice. 

"And you're one of those people?" asked Frank.

"Mhm."

Frank smiled. Maybe he would be alright. Maybe coming out wasn't so bad after all. And maybe, just maybe, Gerard was going to be the one that would save him, not just from jumping off of the bridge, but from everything. 

Everything was going to be alright. He could feel it in Gerard's soft touch. Yes.

Frank was going to be truely happy for once.


End file.
